Sometimes, I just get blindsided by something I can’t control or by someone I trusted, mistakenly, and that pisses me off. Maybe you know what that feels like.

Getting angry makes me aware, usually of a problem that I’m not solving (or that’s not solving itself) or about a relationship that’s either going to hell or otherwise not in my favor. Anger that is. That and frustration – but I’ll save that one for another day. When I listen to the song (which is often because my iPhone always repeats it, rather than moving on to the next one in the playlist, as it does with all the others), I think, “you’re right, Zack.” Anger has value. Their music is still around, but they’re no longer together. They don’t do anything softly, except at the end of a song they call “Freedom,” where the singer, Zack de la Rocha, delivers the final line like he’s sharing a secret. I listen to a band, that you’ve probably never heard of, called Rage Against the Machine. Sometimes my anger lingers, or intensifies, into something more complex something uglier and less admirable. A grudge. It happens less as I get older, thankfully, but it’s taken me down some dark roads. When I’m pursuing a grudge, most people don’t know it. I conduct my work with stealth. More like the Wizard of Oz than, say, Tony Soprano cowardly pulling strings behind a curtain that hides the shame, instead of throwing punches in public, like a man. Inside is where the anger is……or where it can be. Hidden. I’ve heard it said that people who seem like they have the world figured out are really the ones you need to worry about the most. That might describe me, only without the worry part. I’m harmless.

In seven simple and effective steps, this book guides you past any level of anger, from mild irritation to rage, and toward a balanced approach to using anger for greater understanding and well-being.I get angry, but I hide it well. People tell me that I’m calm and even-tempered. I am, mostly. They admire that about me, they say. I realize that they only see the outside of me, though. The Gift of Anger shows you how to recognize this signal, discover the deeper meaning behind your anger, and change the relationships and situations in your life that frustrate you. Yet many of us see anger as a negative, potentially dangerous emotion that should be suppressed.īut the truth is, anger is a gift-a natural, internal signal that unfailingly identifies an opportunity for healing and growth. Anger is a natural response to feelings of hurt, betrayal, and embarrassment, and a reliable outlet when we feel just plain stressed out.

Anger is a gift